Instead of Asking Why

We’ve all heard that you should never ask why. Never ask – why did this happen?

You probably wouldn’t like the answer and it’s not going to change the outcome anyway.

Lately, I’ve heard that instead of asking “why” we should ask “what next?” This allows us to focus our energies on doing something practical with whatever situation we feel we’ve been unfairly served, or at minimum, not focus so much on the hurt. But even “what next” has a way of keeping our eyes on a particular circumstance.

Just last week a friend shared something with me that goes beyond “why” and “what next” and has changed how I view certain seasons I simply can’t explain or understand my way out of.

She told me to try asking God – what does this mean for us? What does this mean for my relationship with you, God? And most importantly:

Who do you want to be for me right now?


I recently experienced a difficult situation where even asking “what next” didn’t make sense. I walked into something convinced I would learn all the answers. Instead, I walked out with even more questions and a whole lot of hurt. There was no next. There is still no next. It simply … is.

I am next-less.

But I can ask God what and who he wants to be for me now. And the answer is so many things!

I’m guessing you’ve been through a rough time or two where there wasn’t a clear next in view.

The job you worked so hard for, and lost. The man who promised you forever, but whose definition of monogamous was one at a time. The reconciliation you hoped for that lead to further estrangement. The annual check-up that turned into a life-threatening diagnosis.

The fight you had that felt like it was having you.

In all these things, we can ask – God, what does this mean for us? Who do you want to be for me now?

Read what the bible tells us about God being our father, our healer, our provider, and comforter. And when it still hurts, it tells us he is our peace.

Maybe he’s taking you to a new place in how you relate to him or to others. Maybe he’s asking you to trust him in ways you haven’t before – to let him be someone you haven’t allowed him to be yet.

Don’t settle for asking why. Ask for more of him.






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